Breathe deeply, think calm, have belief in yourself, fake it till you make it...believe me that what many a so called confident person is doing.How do you change the voice in your head from a shaky one, to a deep, slow, authoritive one?
Find one, and keep listening to it and then it should change to that.
I just let myself cool off if I'm upset about something; let it work though then quickly get over it and on with my life. I don't hold grudges. One trick is to not dwell on the issue; another is to consider the circumstances (if you're being annoyed by a child, for example, just remember you can't expect a child to act like an adult and take it from there.)
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